American Family Capitalist Values in the Voice of the Dad
I own my wife
She owns the kids
The kids own nothing
I own a 1975 Monte Carlo
My wife owns knitting needles
My sons own toy soldiers
My daughters own baby dolls
I own a lawn mower
My wife owns pans
My sons own a plastic lawn mower
My daughters owns a plastic kitchen
I beat my wife because I own her
My wife loves to be beat
Because she loves to be owned
My wife loves to beat the children
Because I beat her
I have no feelings because my worldview
Is based off of ownership
I am owned by my boss
I own my wife
I own my car
I let my wife pick out the curtains and couch
But I own them
When my friends come to my house
I show the males what I own
And my wife shows the females what she owns
Then we show them our children because we own them
And if the kids get out of hand
We beat them in front of our friends
Because it shows that we own our children
I treat my children like little businesses
I reinforce them competing against each other
To own things
I make sure they have no feelings for each other
Except for hate
Like two gas stations raging an endless gas price war
I don't allow any truth in my head
If my parents were republican I'd vote republican
If my parents were democrat I'd vote democrat
Because if there are only two parties
Then I can separate them into good and evil
And that's what I teach my kids
Good and evil
Everything that is like them and they want to own is good
And everything that is not like them and won't might
get in the way of them owning is evil
I have a dream
That everyone can own as much shit as they like
As long they don't live in my neighborhood
Fox Network
Republicans are great
Yeah
Yeah
Duh huh
Liberals are evil
Duh huh
Arabs are evil
Duh huh
Terrorists are coming
Duh huh
Kindness is evil
Duh huh
Ownership is great
Duh huh
Please own me
Duh huh
Jesus take away my responsibilities
Duh huh
Health insurance is evil
Duh huh
Unions are evil
Duh huh
Employment is evil
Duh huh
Outsourcing gives me a boner
Duh huh
Gays are evil
Duh huh
Evolution is evil
Duh huh
The environment doesn't exist
Duh huh
People don't actually want to have sex
Duh huh
Coal companies are great for the environment and also supply really fun jobs
Duh huh
Women should be owned by men
Duh huh
Men should be owned by The Good Lord, but mostly CEOs
Duh huh
Balanced media for assholes who don't actually enjoy the news
Duh huh
Because the news has facts
Duh huh
Facts are evil
Duh huh
Intelligence is evil
duh huh
happiness is evil
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