If These Republican Presidential Candidates Did Not Exist, Who Would Invent Them by Norman Markowitz

 

 

               Tom Lehrer, the satirical folk singer famous in the 1960s, stopped performing in the 1970s, only to revive his singing career a generation later.  When asked in the 1990s why he had stopped, he said, “After Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize, who could do satire.”

               I thought of that comment as I watched the Republican candidates presidential debate on the week that Jon Stewart left Comedy Central, with a parting shot at the “bullshitocracy” that covers for what we old fashioned Marxist-Leninists call Monopoly Capitalism (in its not so new transnational form)

But, as someone who used to write an occasional column titled “capitalism gone mad” for Political Affairs,  let me post this attempt at a  satirical commentary on a topic that may transcend satire.the present state of what was once called the party of Lincoln.

               Donald Trump, the front-runner?  I could hear Alexander Hamilton smirking as he said I told you so, universal suffrage would lead to this and “your people sir, is a great beast,” the most famous remark attributed to him. 

And P.T. Barnum, the 19th century showman famous for Tom Thumb and the Siamese Twins (who most resembles Trump) saying “there is a sucker born every minute,” the most famous remark attributed to him.

 And then of course there is Groucho Marx, who would say that he would not run for any office as the candidate of any party that would have Trump as a candidate.  But then Groucho would change his mind and say that he would campaign for Trump if Trump promised to make his brother Harpo the campaign speech writer and not  deport his brother Chico.

               What are Donald Trump qualifications for the presidency?  He went bankrupt a number of times and was bailed out by his creditors.  This certainly prepares him to bail out banks, corporations, and Wall Street.  He built luxury hotels and casinos and before that in the real estate business was alleged to be a major “player” in the condo conversions that forced tens of thousands of working class New Yorkers out of their rental apartments, leading most to pay much more for their housing and some to become homeless.

  Of course these policies helped to bring about the wonderful times of the 1980s and 1990s,  producing many high quality jobs and increases in mass purchasing power, not to mention a significant rise in a a critical field,  gambling education.

 We old fashioned Marxist-Leninists would see Trump as an example of parasitic capital, that is, a capitalist who doesn’t develop industry, produce goods and services for local, national, and international markets, and instead rips off his fellow capitalists and the general public. Jay Gould was the best example of that in the late nineteenth century.  But no sane person would have expected him to dare run for President.

 Of course, Trump would look at it differently.   He would see himself as representing the traditional values that made America great, hard work, individual initiative, sobriety, thrift, prudent investments(ask his creditors) strong family values(ask his ex-wives) and respect for the rights of others “regardless of race, color, or creed”(ask Latinos, women, and  most of the human race)

               So why is Trump at this time the front runner in a pack of politicians, most of whom, have held or are holding significant elective office.

 First, speculator that he has always been, Trump  has thrown everything he has into the unregulated anti-immigrant market.  Of course, most of his opponents have their own speculation in this market but not to the extent that Trump has.

  In all likelihood his actions will drive up prices in the anti-immigrant market, encouraging more and more extreme positions that may very well lead to violence.  The anti-immigrant market was  called “Nativism” in the 19th century when groups like the Know Nothings and the later more “respectable” Anti-Immigration League  were its champions.

 It was  called simply racism in the 20th century when groups like the KKK and politicians running against immigrants from Eastern and Southern Europe and all Asian and African immigrants advanced the policy through legislation like the National Origins Act of 1924, which established exclusionary quotas for  various ethno-cultural groups and strengthened existing restrictions  on non European immigration.

 The value of this policy to Trump is a bit like the value of anti-Semitism to Hitler as he made it the centerpiece of his crackpot “Nordic Aryan Master Race” theory.  It helped people forget that Hitler and many of his key henchmen were not exactly models of the tall blond muscular “Nordic Aryan” that they glorified.

 Trump, the businessman in politics, uses anti-immigrant racism to make voters forget that  parasitic “businessmen” like him are poster boys for the stagnation and decline of the U.S. economy internally and internationally over the last four decades, not the immigrants he scapegoats.

               What about the others.  Jeb Bush, George Bush’s smarter brother (at least he did better in school) who wants to “phase out” Medicare” Scott Walker, the Koch Brothers smooth spokesmen, who represents their rightwing version of nihilism (destroy public sector unions, environmental regulation, all labor and social welfare rights, and (probably) “phase out the SEC, the Federal Reserve, the FDIC, the FCC and have everyone live happily ever after.

               Then there are Ted Cruz and Marcel Rubio whose only difference with the other rightwing Republican candidates is that they are not emphasizing anti-Latino bigotry because they have enough sense to realize that they themselves are Latinos.   So what they propose is to be equal opportunity exploiters and oppressors.

  Of course, coming from Texas and Florida, they might call for a U.S. foreign   policy based on establishing the death penalty globally in the name of defending the “free world”, and establishing through the UN a United Nations Prison Construction Agency (UNPCA) as the answer to global poverty.

               And then there is the governor of my state, New Jersey, who in his own way rivals Trump in his absurdity.  Christie’s bullying and insults are legendary in New Jersey.  Thanks to a Democratic legislature, his howls have been worse than his bite, although New Jersey currently a rank 49th in the percentage of the work force that are unemployed and is significantly worse off than it was when he became Governor in 2010.   

 Christie has talked about subjecting Social Security to means test, peddling the big and crude lie that its initial purpose was to provide aid for indigent senior citizens, a crude lie, since its stated purpose was to provide old age public pensions for all citizens as a matter of right and it took years for the funds to be built up through payroll taxes so indigent senior citizens did not profit directly from it.

Christie might after the campaign join with Trump and Walker in a sitcom about three room-mates, with the Koch brothers as their loveable landlords.  The three would work as Wal-Mart checkers and directors of a company union set up by Wal-Mart to keep real unions out. Trump might have Paris Hilton and one of the Kardashian sisters play his and Walker’s girlfriends.  He might also ask Roseanne Barr to play Christie’s girlfriend.  The sitcom  might be called Minus Three Men.

               That’s it for the Republicans.  I forgot to mention John Kasich, the rightwing Republican governor of Ohio, who portrays himself as more of a straight man than a burlesque comic, but whose views aren’t different from the others.

 In fact, the views of all of the candidates are pretty much the same.  Let’s hope a century from now, people in the remnants of the United States won’t be watching on their devices a hilarious comedy about two hustlers who come up with the perfect media scam, a streaming musical comedy about the most despised figure of the 21st century, responsible for devastations beyond belief,  titled Springtime for Donald Trump  

As Bernie Sanders, the candidate of the left in the Democratic party, has said in what is the catch phrase of his campaign, “enough is enough.”

And as John Bachtell, National Chair of the CPUSA, said recently on Social Media in response to the Republican Debate, "let's rumble" to organize and defeat the whole gang instead of sitting on the sidelines

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